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Yung Kash SK's Pages

Monday, April 28, 2014

Im Slowly But Surely Falling Asleep On People

I have no trust, there is barely anymore respect, love for anything, everything is about money, cars, material things. There is no more Love on Earth. There is not enough respect, people no longer get a long. Let feelings such as jealousy, greed, and overall their feelings get between themselves. Sometimes you have to be the bigger person and just move on in life. Don't even say another word, let them talk, let them take shots at you behind your back when you can't hear. At the end of the day what does it really matter. We live in a society of business only. Everywhere you go even to some of the cheapest things you can spend, revolve around money. We are all stuck in this economic landscape and it is up to each and every one of us to decide to start working or pursue some technical or college education. I have worked a few different jobs from restaurants to factories, been fired, have quit, and have even been to college. Right now I am just trying to figure out what is right for me. I ran into a bad situation with the police when I was in college, it was literally because I would not open my door to talk to them as I already knew why they wanted me out. I still do not think I am entirely wrong for that situation either and was dropped out of school and away for so long then that I fell into some credit card debt as I did not take out any student loans (thankfully for that though). I do feel bad about the debt but I am no longer in school, but do plan on going back to college again in August. I have fell into so much debt it has been transferred to so many creditor assistance companies that I do not even know who I owe all the money too. I bought some nice clothes I still have and I have a computer and a small studio. Other than that I really don't have anything other than myself and my family. The economy is not getting any better, and I'm not really sure what I want to do with my life. I wanted to pursue a career in Information Technology as I have built desktop computers and know how to work on them both with hardware and software. Sometimes when I have always done good in life, like made the basketball team, or passed my first college semester besides Algebra which I did fail by a few points actually, something always has to happen. I don't know if my family has never liked me because they don't like my Mom or any of their family and it is pretty much the same the other way around, but my Dad's family always has to set me back when I'm doing something Good and I think it is all based on jealousy and blaming one for their problems known as scapegoating. That's why to be completely honest is why I do believe in God, why I do drink and smoke weed, and even cigarettes. I don't even know if I would do good on my own, but if I was by myself I wouldn't have anyone to argue with, all my life all my family has done is call the police on me, over simple arguments, and whether they are Catholic (at least my Grandma and Grandpa) I still feel they have done a lot of damage in my life and wasted a lot of my time, I know it was my choice to also argue, it is still their fault for what they did to send me away. They made up a lot of things about me when I was in Lake County Juvenile center and made me get sent away longer. They always have been the reason for my setbacks. Yes I played a role but I never was the complete cause of anything, everyone plays a part, you cannot blame everything on one person. They all are very controlling, they try to be and im not going to let it happen or stand back against it any longer and will not put up with it. I don't care whose fucking house it is, all this Bullshit I had to go through the 4 years I was sent away as a juvenile, never got to go to a single practice or game after I practiced 2 years in Middle School trying to make the basketball team playing at the YMCA, and I finally make it, then you call the police on me for an argument because you all won't let me go to Thanksgiving on my break with the other family members. I don't trust anyone anymore. Not even myself, I only trust God and when times get tough I pray and thank the Lord for what I do have and that maybe he will touch me one day to feel better. I am a little upset right now and I shouldn't even feel bad, as they are just a family trying to make their own family members feel bad. I believe smoking weed is not much of a bad thing, it is my choice, and I also understand it has become accepted as a medical benefit to some. I don't care, it doesn't matter where I am at, who I am with, nobody is going to change my opinion of Weed, just as no one is going to change my opinion of God and the Lord Jesus Christ.

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